


Walking Away

by pinnacle_of_turtle_dick



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Angst With Out A Happy Ending, Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Implied Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Morials, Not A Fix-It, One-Sided Relationship, SO, Sober Gamzee Makara, Trolls (Homestuck), Unhealthy Relationships, but there is no actual davekat content in this, dont try to paint one of them out as the bad guys, in canon they are not good for eachother, it was toxic, it wasnt a healthy relationship, its not even heavily implied, just an implied crush on karkats side, like basically my take on a lil snippet of things, now imma just explain some shit in the tags because im not doing author notes, oh also i forgot, okay, so like, thats over now, this is angst, this is not a fix it, yeah sorry broskis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27333019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinnacle_of_turtle_dick/pseuds/pinnacle_of_turtle_dick
Summary: He thinks it's a game. A silly little game. He thinks your shoulders are shaking because you’re laughing. He thinks everything is fine. He doesn’t know.Isn't that cruel?
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Walking Away

Trapped on the meteor. Alone, with him.

He who doesn’t even know what’s happening right now. 

He who doesn’t understand what he just did, might not even remember.

Gamzee, who you could’ve helped, Gamzee who you should’ve helped, Gamzee who had a palemate for a fucking reason.

Gamzee who couldn’t fight back if he knew what you were doing, who wouldn’t.

Gamzee who you’re about to be locking into a fridge, who you are lying to right now. 

He thinks it's a game. A silly little game. He thinks your shoulders are shaking because you’re laughing. He thinks everything is fine. He doesn’t know.

It’s probably for the best. And, you hate to think like this because it sounds so wrong, so manulaptive, but it works to your advantage.

If you play along, it might work for the better. He might be happier.

But, you know that’s not true.

All he ever wanted to do was make you happy. He would have done anything to make you happy.

So, you smile. 

You still have tears tracking down your cheeks, but you smile.

Dave looks at you strangely, emotionlessly, numbly, confused too, but numb. He bore witness to that too. He had to watch it happen just like you did, like Rose and Kanaya.

Rose nods at you, she understands, you think. She understands that you don’t want to do this, that you feel like you can’t, but that you have to. 

That it has to be you.

Because he trusts you, and he’d do anything for you. 

Anything.

He’d willingly have enough sopor pies to kill any other troll.

He’d willingly climb into a fridge, not yet completely doped out of his mind. He’s still in there. Gamzee, your Gamzee, is still in there. Not the Gamzee you saw earlier today, not the one the unluckiest of your friends saw earlier today, but your Gamzee. The one who calls you “Karbro”.

The one who wouldn’t hurt a fly.

The one you were supposed to help.

The one you couldn’t find it in yourself to give two shits about.

He’s still in there. And he’s doing this because he trusts you. Not because he’s docile, not yet. He trusts you. And you’re lying to him. He trusts you, and you are taking that trust and you are throwing it on the ground and stomping on it. And then you’re turning around.

You’re turning around, you can’t look him in the eyes anymore.

You can’t.

He’s in the fridge now. Sitting. Waiting.

You think one more glance can’t hurt.

He’s still smiling up at you, like a baby barkbeast.

A baby barkbeast being sent to its death, but so sweetly, so beautifully, so innocently unaware.

And at that thought you laugh.

Innocent. 

You can’t stop laughing. 

You double over in laughter. You’re crying. Your stomach hurts and you want to stop, so badly, you want to stop laughing, but you can’t.

You see Dave turn his glance to you. He looks worried. Worried that you’re going insane as well, probably. It’s not funny, but it spurs you on further and before you can stop it, you’re laughing some more.

Rose looks at you. She seems to understand. She looks like she understands, but she still looks off put that you’re laughing at something so incredibly grim.

And Gamzee is still looking up at you like a stupid little barkbeast who doesn’t know any better, and you almost stop. Almost. But, you don’t.  
You don’t, because he’s laughing now. 

Giggling, more like.

He’s doped out, and giggling. Docile, almost. 

You move forward, just barely two steps.

Dave is looking at you like you’ve lost your thinkpan. You think you just may have.

You walk forward some more, standing just barely a foot away from him. You just gently tap his shoulder. 

He glances up at you. 

His eyes are bright, the purple irises shining, and he looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky.

At first you think, “I don’t deserve this.”, but that’s wrong. No, you don’t, but this shouldn’t be about you. 

He doesn’t deserve this. He went through so much. 

You put your hands on either side of him, guiding him into a lying position by his horns.

You turn around again. You walk away crying. 

He was abandoned first by his lusus and second by you.

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a songfic i wrote based on this drift away cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzOhXw2rVGg 
> 
> which i would like you to listen to right fucking now, istg it is great and i love it sm
> 
> it just. envoked so much emotion and i had to write it right away.


End file.
